Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Breakfast 101

    I put this on Facebook this morning and a few people seemed to like it, so I feel compelled to share it on this forum. I know you all love it when I share my wisdom.
    Biscuits were created to be complemented with butter. Some people brush the top with butter, in fact, I have done that myself. That is not a ‘buttered biscuit’. A buttered biscuit is a biscuit that has been split open and has a big hunk of butter put in the center. It’s allowed to melt and run down the sides (and down your chin in the process). THAT is a buttered biscuit.
    Eggs are composed of two parts, the yolk and the white. The white is all protein and the yolk is fat. The yolk is the good part. They are meant to be eaten together, that’s why God made them the way they are. I like eggs in any form, and I usually eat them scrambled. They were orginially intended, however, to be fried in bacon grease.
    Sausage - As long as the label says ‘pork sausage’ you’re good to go. (At this point I'll embellish a bit, because it was pointed out in the original post that I left off Biscuits smothered in sausage gravy. By all means - smother them. Do not use packaged gravy mix! Cook your sausage down, sprinkle a little flour on it, let it cook for about a minute then hit it with milk.)
    Bacon is cured pork belly. Simple test – if it’s not pork, it’s not bacon. Of course, the pork belly can be cooked in other ways, braised with a nice glaze for instance. Let me see you eat a nice glazed ‘turkey belly’ and maybe you can make a believer out of me.
    Grits, yes grits. This is the south, not freaking Idaho. We eat grits down here. Grits, when they were created by the Lord, were intended to be eaten with salt and butter. Personally, I also prefer lots of black pepper. I have heard of people putting sugar on grits; they are obviously confusing them with cream of wheat, and they probably are Yankees.
    If you enjoyed a breakfast of ‘turkey bacon’ and an ‘egg white omelet’, more power to you. Now get in your Prius and head on over to the Hillary rally. 
    I’m going to eat breakfast.

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