Monday, August 29, 2011

What is a coach’s responsibility to his players at a Middle School level?

I received this letter a couple of days ago.  Ordinarily I wouldn't print anything without identifying the person who wrote it, but in this case I think the reason is pretty obvious.  I even deleted the name of the school, but will tell you that it is a Bossier Parish school. 
What is a coach’s responsibility to his players at a Middle School level?
We are new to Louisiana and to Middle School. This is my son’s first year playing football for this school and we were warned that this was “football Country” out here and football, even at a Middle School level, was political and fueled by favoritism. We had heard great things out this school and weren’t too worried about the rumors; after all it is Middle School right? These are young boys in early adolescence, not quite true athletes yet- but wanting to be. Waiting to be mentored and molded. Coached and validated. Waiting to grow into upper division athletes, all while dealing with hormones, puberty, pimples and the myriad of other Middle School things to worry about, all the while looking up to their coach as their hero, their demi-god while on the field.
During football season these boys spend more time with their coach on the field than they do with their own families during the week, and that affects them. The coaches become important to them. So then what is the coaches outlook when they have 50 plus young boys all looking to them for so many things during this overwhelming and confusing times in their lives? Do the coaches look through these boys not seeing the individual young men they are, and only seeing if they are played will they win? Do they not see them as young men needing to be taught, mentored, molded, encouraged to be the best they can be? Or are they just numbers on a playbook.
Do the coaches just want to win at any cost, and ignoring and forgetting some kids on the team is the price they are willing to pay? Is winning so important now that coaches have forgotten how incredibly important their jobs are at this crucial time in a young boys life. That they are there to TEACH young men how to become athletes, to foster each child’s individual talent, and encourage and teach new skills, as after all, they are teachers – right?
We had an incident at our Middle School Game last night. It was just a scrimmage game mind you – a scrimmage – and the coach chose to not play the entire team.
It was a scrimmage.
A game atmosphere in the stadium.
A great opportunity as a coach to play each player and see what they can bring to the table. An opportunity of a measuring tool for himself to see what each kid has. How they handle playing in a game situation. If the child should be used in a certain position? And above all, where he needs to work more with each kid.
They are children, remember – not just numbers. Simple, right – perfect opportunity to be fair, play everyone, to evaluate each child and let them experience play time and show the coach their stuff, especially since the score doesn’t even count.
It’s just a scrimmage after all, right?
I mean we are here for the kids, right? We are fostering their desire and optimism to play a sport they are so passionate about, and have paid their dues training for 2 hours a night in the heat, going to bed late because they have to stay up and finish homework. Well, that is not what happened at our school. Apparently we were proved wrong in not believing the rumors about politic and favoritism at this level.
The coach chose to not play all of the kids. This is Middle School – not Jr. – Sr. High school ball. This is Middle School where are boys are just learning to become men, to become athletes, to become themselves! The coach chose to not play every child that was new. Really? Ten young men who were new to the school or to the team were intentionally not played in a “scrimmage” game, their first game (that did not count).
What message is the coach sending to these young boys? “You are not good enough – not even to play in a scrimmage game” – WOW!!
To be betrayed by a coach that way – at this level – at a scrimmage game that every one knows, means NOTHING to the stats…. Was that really the best message to send to our children?
Was it because they were new?
Because you haven’t played with me since “Dixie League” you need to pay your dues?
Politics? Well, if so, shame on him. Then you are not a coach – you are a puppet and you should be removed from your position, because this is not just football you are teaching our kids here. Your position is so much more important. I am not a whining mommy who is throwing a fit just because my kid didn’t play… None of the new kids played. That is odd and it speaks volumes about what is really going on in our schools athletic system.
When my son walked out to the car, the light had gone out behind his eyes. He looked devastated and was just shaking his head like he didn’t understand what happened.
The only thing he said on the way home is “I am so embarrassed to go to school tomorrow”. Being a new kid is tough enough, throw in the atmosphere the school has created and allowed behind Football Rules the School and add the coaches decision to not play the new kids… what do you have?
What you have is someone out to win at any cost, even if it IS our children. 
Shame on you ****** Middle School Coaches!! Perhaps the reason you lost the scrimmage last night is BECAUSE you didn’t play one of those kids. You never know, THEY could have made the difference in that game. What I do know is YOU could have made a difference to them!

26 comments:

  1. First, welcome to Bossier Parish. Second, welcome to Bossier Parish.

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  2. Welcome to the BPSB way! Wait until your child is in HS. It's even worse. Then the officials are involved. I've seen games where they (the officials & coaches) are determined that their school will not loose to a smaller school than theirs. It's this way in Bossier & Caddo parish. I'm sorry your son had to be subject to that kind of ignorance. That's one reason my kids stayed away from sports. It just as bad in baseball.

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  3. If your kid got to play every down would you be writing this letter? Nope. Don't be a whiny parent and start blaming politics. It doesn't help the situation. You encourage your kid to keep going out there and try hard and eventually his time will come. Middle school is where athletics start to become serious. Your kid is not guaranteed playing time. But there are lessons to be learned through hard work and practice. When I was in high school it took me till my senior year to earn a starting position. Looking back I'm a better person today because I had to work hard to get to that point. It's a lesson I continue to use today in life. Just don't be a whiny parent.

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  4. When I was in school every kid played in scrimmage games, if just for a play or two.

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  5. Don't worry about it, if history holds true all those people that were someone in middle school and high school will be losers in life for the most part.

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  6. There is very much right in our parish schools, but I applaud this parent who took the time and articulated so well a huge area where there could be improvement. I agree with every word this parent expressed so well. Have been there, done that and I cannot thank you enough for having the courage to express a horendous injustice to our children. And to the poster who called you a whiney parent, we will just ignore his insensitivity. I have viewed many games at the middle school level where the score was crushing to the other team, and the coach continued to play the same players. There is no excuse for this!!!

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  7. It is your responsibility as parents to teach your child the values by which he will live his life. If you are hoping to have a public school in Bossier Parish to teach those values, your child will grow up believing that human worth is in direct proportion to how well he plays football, how fancy his 4wheel drive pickup is, how much wealth he possesses, and how many young women are willing to have sexual relations with him.

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  8. I find all the will thought comments to ring true in some aspect. As a child I played ball all the way from age of 5 to age of 16, In Bossier Parish. I quit at 16 because I felt I had to work, money for cars and girls became more important, however the insensitive Jacka.. makes one good point, middle school is where football gets serious, y-ball and dixie is for honing and molding the players..unfortuanatly not all children get the oppurtunity at a young age to play either, otherwise the insensetive gentlemen is way out of line calling you a whiny parent, you are obviously a concerned parent who cares deeply for your child inside and out not just his image among his peers. I ask you to encourage your child to hang in there most of the BPS coaches are very good coaches even though unorthidoxed at times, he has an oppurtunity to learn a lot, but if you feel he is not a child that you can teach to overlook the hipocracy of many BPS practices on the field and in the school you may want to consider private school if you can afford it Calvary has an excellent acedemic and athletic program. Please dont misunderstand me I am all for public schooling I feel private schools breed more Elitist but it is the only decent options cause caddo only has a couple good schools--JImbo

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  9. Benton Athletics and Bossier at it's finest. That's why my kids no longer go to Benton.

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  10. I do need to rephrase something concerned football mom and fellow bloggers BPS coaches are skilled football coaches but these kind of practices will never make them good or great scholastic athletic coaches...ever...by the way I am a father of 5 boys from ages 23-13 3 of which have been very involved with athletics the eldest being a starting QB for a bossier parish school is Jr and Sr years....

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  11. Don't worry. If her son is any good in football, Calvary and Evangel will be visiting to try and recruit him.

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  12. anon 1150
    so true so true...--Jimbo

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  13. When I played ball back in the mid-70s, coaches were concerned with winning games. Even scrimmage games.

    Practice was the place you learned the game, your position, and got to show your ability. Games were for winning.

    If your boy is good enough to play he'll show it in practice, and he'll play. Coaches like to win, and they will field their best players.

    Of course, I could be wrong. None of my 3 sons that have graduated from BP schools ever played football, so I don't know how much politics plays in to it. But, I suspect that coaches still want to win, and will field the team they think gives them the best shot at it.

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  14. I agree with Andy. I think that practice is where a kid makes the team or not. I taught in a Bossier high school and worked closely with the coaches for a lot of years. I would not do what they do for the money they make and the abuse they take.

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  15. By the way. I could probably guess which school the lady is talking about. If I'm right the head coach is somewhat a jackass but his asst. is a good guy.

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  16. As a Football Mom of 11 years i would like to know why you thought your child was entitled to play? It was a scrimmage for Pete's sake. My son has always know if he was starting, second string or warming the bench before he walked onto the field before a game. You and your precious snowflake need to pouting and maybe take up chess!!!

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  17. At least your son made the team. my grandson was heartbroken because he was cut from his team.

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  18. As a life long resident of BP.Going 1-12th grades in BP schools. Having childern go to BP schools grades 1-12. I have to agree with the first comment. Welcome to Bossier Parish. Nothing has changed. Unfortunately I had a Sociology Teacher at BPCC some yrs. ago, he is deceased now, enlighten me on how incestuous our society is in BP. Only to now know he was correct in his belief.It is always the same names, same families. The good old boy system at it's finest in our school system.

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  19. I think safety is a coach's responsibility at the Middle School level and at any level for that matter. I agree with a couple of comments on here about practice is where all the players get a chance to participate. That is where a player gets to show the coach what he or she can do. A decent coach is not going to put a player in a game if that player is not ready in any way. I believe it is the parents' responsibility to encourage the child to keep working hard no matter what.

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  20. I don't know what this lady is talking about. She ought to be thankful that her son is part of a winning tradition. Bossier football means state championships, kids going on to play in the NFL, etc.

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  21. Anon@9:29 PM...

    I had to read that about three times.

    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

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  22. My son is on Benton Middle's team this year. It's his first year to ever play any sport. He has yet to play in a game. I understand that they need to prove their worth, BUT when you have had a scrimmage AND a jamboree, neither of which count, and your son STILL has not seen one quarter...that can be upsetting. They play the SAME boys every damn game. What's worse, is that every kid that tried out made the team. Really?! Like someone else said, Middle School is where sports gets serious...why not cut the ones they know aren't ever going to get to play? Why waste their time & their parents' time? Why encourage MY son to try out after seeing him play football in gym, then let him ride the bench? THAT is more of a disappointment to him than if they had just cut him after tryouts. They probably have over 50 boys on the 7/8th grade team (same for the 6th grade team) but only 10-12 of the same kids actually get to play. I said the exact same thing as the mother that wrote the letter after their jamboree last week. It would have been the PERFECT opportunity to let almost everyone have a shot without sacrificing a real game. Maybe they wouldn't have lost...

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  23. Many kids don't start in junior high, but learn the game. After a growth spurt, they will surpass their peers and start. Don't give up, workout and play hard.

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  24. YMCA let's everybody play. Scrimmages are for the probable players to sharpen the skills. It does not take a village to coach winners.

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  25. My question is "How does The Bossier Press sports writer get his info?" Is this another "Favorites" situation? I noticed that some "Stand out" players were mentioned. Don't remember their names called at the game.

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