"People…they don’t write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English."
For whatever reason, that led me to imagine what internet court proceedings would be like; I think it would go something like this:
CourtChat Section 2
Hon. I.B. Earnest presiding
Judge: Madame Clerk, call the first case please.Clerk: State vs. Whipple, Simple
Defense Attorney: Your Honor, we move that all charges be dismissed.
DA: OMG! We object, Your Honor!
Judge: LOL, that is so not going to happen. Proceed.
DA: Your Honor, Mr. Whipple is charged with throwing a bag of chips at a convenience store clerk and has pled not guilty.
Judge: I’ve been guilty of chip shots myself!
Defense Attorney: ROFLMAO!
DA: Your honor, may we go to private chat?
(DA & Defense attorney go to private chat with judge)
Judge: It appears that the arresting officer has had his computer infected by a worm and cannot appear this morning.
Defense Attorney: We move for a mistrial!
Judge: Denied! Case will be reset for such time as Office Doright’s computer has been restored.
Madame Clerk, call the next case please . . . .