You can't make this up.
A Louisiana man has filed a petition for protection from abuse against his wife. He alleged that after they went to bed she "made sexual advancements toward me and started getting really aggressive with my scrotum until I had to leave the room".
She followed him downstairs to "attack my scrotum more, slapping, kicking, kneeing, punching, scratching."
Finally, he "ran out the front door and went to a friends to stay".
A (male) judge promptly signed an order for temporary protection and set a court date.